“Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for
somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the
difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.”— Meg Jay
One of the latest TEDtalks features clinical psychologist Meg Jay. Jay
argued that by calling "30 is the new 20," we as a society have
trivialized our 20s, the defining decade of adulthood. By putting off major
life decisions like marriage and career advancement until our 30s, we
20-somethings are doing ourselves a major disservice.
During the talk, Jay posited "What happens when you tell [a
20-something] they have 10 extra years to start their life?" Her
answer: Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition and absolutely nothing happens.
In her therapy sessions, Jay offers three pieces of advice to her 20-something
clients. This advice was so fundamentally important for her clients that she
felt the need to share it with the audience. I agree with her so I'm going to
pass it along to you.
Drumroll please...
3 Things Every 20-Something Deserves to Hear:
1. Forget about having identity crisis and get
identity capital.
- Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you want to be next.
- Identity capital begets identity capital.
2. Urban Tribe is Overrated.
- Don't limit who you know.
- New things come from our weak ties.
3. The time to start picking your family is now.
- Best time to work on your marriage is before you have one.
- Be as intentional with love as you are with work
- Consciously choose who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.
Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You are
deciding your life right now.
I am definitely planning on picking up Meg Jay's book The Defining Decade ASAP! She had a lot of great insight and I have a lot of free time
for some reading.
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