Why 30 is Not the New 20

“Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.”— Meg Jay

One of the latest TEDtalks features clinical psychologist Meg Jay. Jay argued that by calling "30 is the new 20," we as a society have trivialized our 20s, the defining decade of adulthood. By putting off major life decisions like marriage and career advancement until our 30s, we 20-somethings are doing ourselves a major disservice. 

During the talk, Jay posited "What happens when you tell [a 20-something] they have 10 extra years to start their life?" Her answer: Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition and absolutely nothing happens. 

In her therapy sessions, Jay offers three pieces of advice to her 20-something clients. This advice was so fundamentally important for her clients that she felt the need to share it with the audience. I agree with her so I'm going to pass it along to you.

Drumroll please...

3 Things Every 20-Something Deserves to Hear:

1. Forget about having identity crisis and get identity capital.

• Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you want to be next.
• Identity capital begets identity capital.

2. Urban Tribe is Overrated.

• Don't limit who you know.
• New things come from our weak ties. 

3. The time to start picking your family is now.

• Best time to work on your marriage is before you have one.
• Be as intentional with love as you are with work
• Consciously choose who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.

Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You are deciding your life right now.

I am definitely planning on picking up Meg Jay's book The Defining Decade ASAP! She had a lot of great insight and I have a lot of free time for some reading. 

Ms. JD meets The Esquirette

On Thursday, I had the amazing opportunity to go to the Ms. JD "Speed Mentoring" event in Philadelphia. The line up of women participating in the event was incredibly impressive so I knew I could not miss it! I could never do justice to the accomplishments of these women, so click on their name for their full bio.  The mentors included Debbie Epstein Henry, Roberta Liebenberg, the Honorable Petrese B. Tucker and Ronda Goldfein. 

Roberta Liebenberg practices complex commercial litigation and has proven to be a force to be reckoned with in a field overwhelmingly dominated by men. She just got a 1.2 BILLION dollar jury verdict in an anti-trust matter she worked on for NINE years! 

Judge Tucker serves on the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. She is the only African-American woman on that court and really spoke to the importance of having personal support to advance in your profession. 

Debbie Epstein Henry is founder of Flextime Lawyers LLC and absolute guru when it comes to women's issues in the legal profession and finding a work life balance. I highly recommend reading her articles, they are a major inspiration for my blog! If you're going to read just one, check this one out.

Unfortunately, I was unable to meet Ronda Goldfein, she is the executive director of the AIDS Law Project of Pennsylvania and a public interest pro. 

Each woman was an absolute inspiration. They had unique stories of how they earned their success but a unifying theme was that they all did it as women. They all had multiple children, a professional spouse, and a glass ceiling above their head. Each woman expressed her desire to see continued growth of women in the legal profession and looks to our generation as an opportunity for change. Here is some of the advice they shared with us:

 Who is a professional inspiration for you? Do you have any guiding principles?